The Love of a Bee

I remember the plague;

Spray-painted with dust converted into mud.

You closed your ears

Thinking I would be loud.

All I could hear were screams,

Scratching blisters of unknown tendencies.

I thought you are a must,

So I hid my thoughts to hinder my noise.

I guess I was strangely frightened;

I jailed these moments and pretended to cheat,

It lacked purpose – I found its guilt.

I also hid it from you to see.

Maybe your thoughts of me would have changed;

You would have not considered I am human,

So I killed those exciting feelings I had.

I was afraid – afraid of losing you,

What I had and treasured the most

I remember the run…

I had this amazing smile

Holding you in my arms

In a sudden you pulled out a gun,

Started shooting.

I tried to defend myself but you were too strong.

I left there like a fool.

You started crying.

I didn’t cry… Not even a flinch,

I had to be the man;

Mad – enraged and contained by empty sadness.

Remember my pain and the love we made?

We looked at each other

Filled with loving-hate the morning after.

I remember the ‘beating myself up’

Thinking have I done enough?

Am I enough?

And how in the hell we hated each other so much

Yet we couldn’t get enough of each other?

The Passion never lacking.

I guess it was true love;

Pain continuously contaminating our sense of emotion

With the color red being brutally drained –

Excessively sucked out

Of our bruised and broken hearts.

Ironically, we taped and stitched each other up

Back into life.

Without you I had no function,

Thinking about you was my only reaction

Without you around.

We turned sex into a psychological game

Until this love had no aim or gain.

Our friends thinking we were so perfect –

What a shame…

I remember the break,

O – I remember it so well.

I can see it on your unblemished face,

Thinking after all these years

You have not changed.

I so wished you would just roll up and die.

I thought you losing me was enough torture;

I thought I had finally killed you

And I lied pretending I was doing well.

Remember that day?

You called me asking, was I okay

The words, ‘I don’t love you anymore!’

Ware amour to this warfare;

I used them to curb

The fact that I still wanted you near.

I am a bee lost near the largest sea,

No matter how enslaved I was

I still miss the honey.

And I know this might sound funny

But, you are my home

Confused between love and lust –

Happiness and obsession.