The Loser

These days, I feel like a loser. I fumble with words, I tremble with fear.

Incessant, I ask my heart to quiet down. Stop flickering, I say.

Sadly unfair to demand such a thing, surely, for I am to blame.

But the ache has turned into palpable beats. Such deafening sounds.

A loser I have become. Drowned in regrets, devoured by anger.

All I remember is carving mistakes after mistakes. Like artwork.

There is no end to the suffocating darkness, the undying madness.

I am rudderless. Questions unanswered, wounds uncovered.

But I wish to fight this loser. Teach her a lesson, I whisper.

Show her all the journeys traveled, the roads taken.

Remind her of the battles won, the dreams fulfilled.

Gather your shattered pieces, I cry. Sing a little harder.

And your heart, let it flicker. Listen to those aching melodies.

Welcome the waves of chaos, the gloomy clouds, the pouring rain.

Pray for the sunshine and just keep walking.

For each millimeter is a step closer to yourself. To your worth.

She’s no angel, she proclaims. But she’s no loser either. She won’t be.

She won’t lose in desire, she won’t lose in faith, she won’t lose herself.

Sail quietly till she finds her light again. Breathe slowly till she finds her life again.

Until there is no guilt, no sorrow, no shame. And gone is the loser.