The Look

I used to read about the look.

Eyes glimmering, love overflowing,

adoration at its peak…

but it was fiction. Words.

Such intensity did not exist

in this reality that was bitter,

cold and disconnected. Passion

muddled by lies, betrayal, secrets.

Little did I know, my belief

would be proven wrong

by none other than myself.

With the help of you that is.

♥

Late night talks, dumb texts,

goofy grins, little giggles.

Things so easy to ignore

with a screen as a buffer,

muffling a typhoon to simply

an inconvenient rain in my heart.

But then we met… a whim

on my part to say the least.

Experiencing you first hand

was different than moments

immortalized in the digital world.

♥

To have you at arms lengths,

Hearing your voice within

the same background noise,

my eyes trailing after your

every movement as if

I would never see you again.

Drinking in every moment,

Every stupid joke, warm smile,

and excited rambling

all of it with my very own

silly upward turn of my lips.

♥

Realization of my actions came later

for I know not of my own expressions.

Brought to attention by a friend

who knew that this story of ours

wasn’t a happy ending but a tragedy

of my own creation. Hesitation.

Not wanting to shatter the tomorrow

I’ve been dreaming of, waiting for us

at the startline I fabricated.

♥

The look also brought reality.

Something unavoidable settling in

that I don’t want to admit.

My feelings were getting stronger,

harder to hide and too prevalent

to ignore any longer.

★

While you were my moon, I

was merely a star lost

in your night sky.