The Life List

The life list No video recording No job I'm given and fired from No letter No life list I wrote at 13 No help to let me see the beauty in life Just the series of memories leading to the end Cleaning, yoga, projects, carving pumpkins, performances, museums Too out of order Crying on the couch, you saying the cancer is back The angel you gave me to watch over us, my tree topper every Christmas The smile after you saw a play Dinners, how you love dessert No sensical order The hospital room, where you are asking if it's okay if you do nothing more You are going to die I can't say it I answer, I'm selfish, I will always want more time Telling me not to hate life, not to give up when you are gone, you know me Sitting in bed laughing, until you couldn't because the morphine got your tongue A piece of coal unfairly given Love still in your eyes Always Why this order The pain So much pain, a room full of everyone's pain while we watched shows for the last time The girl loses twice in the movie, but finds herself I lose twice, the second myself, and lose my heart and soul Then the last breath A dagger as a present Now I'm a time traveler with no control where I end up Sometimes it's silly dacing to a record at Christmas Im five saying "I'm telling", when 'I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus' comes on Or middle school watching you sew, waiting to see the costume But then there is death in the path If hate could build mountains We'd all already be to heaven I hate the slow death the unfair order If a Christmas Carol could change me Maybe I could stay here Sent via the Samsung Galaxy S24, an AT&T 5G smartphone