"the inexhaustible variety of life"

ripped my life in two

always waiting for the clues

I can feel my skin stretch

picking scabs again

indebted to unpaid dues

drawing inspiration from every dark corner in my head

black coffee, dark whiskey, wine flavored cigarettes

replaced my Marlboro no.27's

raw thoughts no chase

incomplete leather and linen bound journals

never written through to the last page

I don't know why i have that habit

I will never age

I was never a good daughter

convinced I needed an exorcist

because I've seen the world for what it is

playing catch up with myself has bled into adulthood

trauma I've paid strangers to sift through

just to feel understood

it's embarrassing, they shouldn't know me better than anyone

ever could

what can i do to keep someone enthralled

I am racing against the march of time

never ending mentally and emotionally abusive fights

I choose it all

why would I know what healthy love looks like

if I was never raised in it

i guess that's because lovers and family, they also, saw the world for what it is

we are all picking scabs, picking fights

it used to be alright

I used to convince myself I am fine

I think I talked to God last night

it said "Angel everything is going to be alright, hold on for me"

and i cried myself to sleep

remembering everything

praying for anything

-g.m.t.