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The "In" Crowd

Incognito at the Table

By Cathy MoneyPublished 3 years ago Updated 3 years ago 1 min read
6
The "In" Crowd
Photo by Kat Love on Unsplash

Just fit in.

Ignore the differences.

Lock away my true self.

Act like someone else.

Just fit in.

*****

Hanging out with the "in" crowd.

Laughing at jokes that cause disgust.

Smiling at the unforgivable.

Feeling gross fifteen minutes in.

Lonely and unseen.

*****

Longing for those not here.

Those who would never fit with this crowd.

Those who would choose a different... everything.

What are they doing tonight?

Why am I even here?

*****

Wanted a night out

To stop feeling restless and alone.

Accepted the call.

Prioritized looking great.

The only “great” for me tonight.

*****

This could be the last event.

I could say no next time.

I could decide to find my tribe

Instead of just being agreeable

And not being me.

*****

Walking around in a stranger’s skin,

Using a stranger’s voice,

A stranger’s laughter,

A stranger’s look.

Adrift in the muck of “fitting in”

*****

What a lie.

To be authentically me would rush me home.

My true community would be my family.

Happiness, freedom, security.

I need to get home to authenticity.

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About the Creator

Cathy Money

I've done some things. Now I'm working on my writing, trying to get better at it. But mostly having fun creating stories.

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