The Halloween Grinch

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They came knocking at my door

On a late October eve

Begging me for candy

That each one hoped to retrieve

I have no candy here

And certainly not for you little brats

Go bug the guy next door

But he’ll give you none at all

I’m the Halloween Grinch

And you all can go to hell

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They scurried off, surprised,

All five of them at once

I’m sure one of them had peed his pants

I felt a little guilty, but only for a while

I hate this tradition,

It’s like a living hell

I’ve no time for children

That expect everyone to give

I told you I’m the Halloween Grinch

And you can all go to hell

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An hour passed, maybe not that long

Another ring at his door

He got up from his lounge room chair

Much angrier than before

Because they just kept their finger

On the bell of my front door

I’ll show you, little buggers

I’m not the one you want to cross

I’m filling up this bucket of water

I told you I’m the Halloween Grinch

I’ll give you ‘trick or treat’, you pesky little pricks

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He stormed downstairs

Made a beeline for the door

They still kept ringing his bell

Which made him angrier than before

He opened up the door,

“Trick or treat”, you little shits

Here’s a drink for your long walk

And threw the water over them

I told you I’m the Halloween Grinch

Don’t bother coming around here no more.

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The kids stood there dripping wet

No smiles on their little face

He realised he’d gone too far

And really had behaved out of place

He apologised and gave them four chocolate pieces each

They ran off up the road as he closed his front door

That laxative should kick in in an hour, maybe more

They’ll think twice about coming back next time when it's Halloween

I told you I’m the Halloween Grinch

And I am not taking it anymore.

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Till next time,

Calvin