THE GREATEST INVENTION

THE GREATEST INVENTION

They said old Albert had lost his mind,
The strangest man you’d ever find.
He invented things from bits of scrap,
A clock that sneezed, a talking cap.

The neighbours laughed as they passed his shed,
“There goes that fool,” was often said.
But Albert smiled and carried on,
Certain one day he’d prove them wrong.

Then late one night his stomach groaned,
He bent in half, he puffed and moaned.
He paced the floor, he couldn’t sit,
And suddenly thought, “I’ll fix this bit.”

He mixed and measured, tried his skill,
And finally made one tiny pill.
He took it down with water that night,
Then went to bed and hoped he’d got it right.

Next morning came with a mighty surprise,
Old Albert shot from bed, wide-eyed.
No cramps in his stomach, no bending low,
Just one urgent thought — I’ve got to go!

He flew down the hallway, quick as a flash,
Nearly knocking the door off in his dash.
Five minutes later, his face aglow,
He opened the window and shouted, “HELLO!”

No aching belly, no terrible strain,
No walking doubled-up in pain.
One little tablet had changed his day,
And sent all his troubles merrily away.

News travelled quickly from town to town,
And people came from miles around.
Scientists gathered to see his creation,
The strangest new cure to sweep the nation.

His clocks and gadgets gathered dust,
His talking cap began to rust.
But Albert’s pill earned worldwide fame,
And nobody laughed when they heard his name.

Years later, inside a museum grand,
His little brown bottle proudly stands.
Beneath it, a plaque for all to see:
“The invention that set mankind free.”

THE GREATEST INVENTION

Now somewhere in heaven old Albert will know,
When nature is calling, you’ve simply got to go.
No cramping and bending wherever you roam,
Just get up, get going, then happily go home.

Praise to old Albert, his troubles are gone,
The humble laxative finally was born.
And thanks to his genius, when morning comes along,
We can get up smiling
And happily greet the dawn.