The forgotten

I finally lost what I've been fighting for today the remembrance of you is all that remains and that's until my memory begins it's end Some parts of you were irreplaceable to me like the ashes of my father In a glass heart And my great grandmother's golden locket These I shall never forget That is where I find solace I could have found a way to save you to keep you around for safe keeping but something odd struck me deeply I had been so afraid of losing all of you telling myself I could in no way survive it and the truth is when I said that it felt true Then the question came to the surface, was holding onto you actually helping me? The knowing answer was one I didn't like Yes, a few cherished things sat all wrapped up in pieces of old news, in their own special boxes, but around them were miles of tears to rediscover Old wounds not yet fully healed, barely scars Seeing your faces again would take me down more than the ghost stating your absence For a long time I felt like I deserved the pain then I felt like holding our moments helped but finding old photos proved me very wrong The failure seeped into my core, rotting away at the only small pieces of good memories left You have become both blessing and curse Like a snake eating its tail until its fated end this sickening cycle has kept me on its ride faking my death pretending you were my life But today I let go of the rope of desperation to keep some semblance of you near me Today I chose my future, the past not defining.