the first time

the first time

i drank alone

was the first time

i drank

13 years old

tiptoeing through

a sleeping house

i climbed onto

the orange laminate

countertop

extended my arm

to the shelf above

the fancy serving platters

and pulled down

the bottle that

had enticed me

endlessly

with its cover

like melting wax

and a font fit

for an old novel

maker’s

mark

i knew it was

the liquor i could drink

because i’d never

seen it leave

that spot

cautiously

i poured a little

not too much

the bottle was

already almost empty

eagerly

i brought the glass

to my lips

embers filled my mouth

traveled down my throat

and spread through

every inch

of me

it

was

exquisite

i was doomed