The Final Goodbye

Here we are again on the slopes of healing from Love that was supposed to be forever.

Dammit!

A carrot dangling on a stick.

The promise of a name change and the family I told you I wanted.

A dream you swore you shared.

A dream swiftly evolved into the nightmare of being abandoned one more time.

It’s cool though. I’m used to it now.

The sting doesn’t pull so hard at my soul anymore.

My heart learned to brace for impact a few separations ago when we thought the last time was going to be the last time and then there was a time after.

I love you became a formality when I realized I was the only one that saw the God in you, the Good in you, and was the only one fighting for you to see me too.

I was a pick me for your affection.

For the return of the safe space you originally created.

Was it all a game or was it real at some point?

You said time could heal anything after that big fight.

I guess anything but us.

C’est la vie, I’d frequently say

But really does it have to be?

Such is life, I’d surmise through the hurt and pain from the lack of effort. I was just supposed to know. Never question your love even when my soul became chapped from lack of hydration.

I’ll still never speak ill of you.

Because as John Legend so eloquently sang-

“All of me loved all of you”

The good, the bad, the indifference, the dismissals, the disrespect, the control, the carrot, the stick…

The lessons learned about both love and self.

The woman I became.

And I thank you for the entire experience