the ego and the id

It sounds horrible,

but sometimes I feel

that I am not a participant in my own life

but rather, an observer

of the person actually living it.

She gets to experience

the full spectrum of human emotion,

not me.

Her ego attempts to satisfy

a world so beaten down and broken,

while I stand off to the side,

completely detached,

going through the motions

as I quietly judge her from afar.

Why is it so difficult for me to believe

that she and I

are one in the same?

Instead, I see her as my enemy

because she’s the one

who gets to feel alive,

while I'm over here,

dealing with our past,

so that we can both

continue to survive.

- the ego and the id