The Dating Game

The Dating Game

Welcome along to the dating game,
Where everybody wants the same,
Someone honest someone true,
Who doesn’t vanish after date number two.

You put your best photograph online,
Taken in nineteen ninety-nine,
You say you’re sporty fit and keen,
But haven’t left the settee since twenty-seventeen.

He says he’s six foot maybe more,
Then barely reaches the restaurant door,
She says her photo’s fairly new,
But even her hairstyle knows that’s not true.

You meet for dinner nerves are high,
You both say hello and wonder why,
He talks about himself all night,
While she keeps planning her escape outright.

Then comes the question what do you do,
What are your hobbies tell me about you,
I like long walks beneath the moon,
While secretly thinking can I go home soon.

Some find love on their very first date,
Some kiss fifty frogs and still have to wait,
Some meet a prince who turns into a clown,
The minute the restaurant bill comes round.

Then suddenly when you’ve given up hope,
And deleted the app because you cannot cope,
Someone appears without playing a game,
And somehow remembers your bloody surname.

They don’t disappear or leave you on read,
Or send you strange messages while you’re in bed,
They simply turn up and actually care,
And when you need somebody they’re always there.

Perhaps that’s the secret we never quite see,
Love isn’t perfect and neither are we,
You don’t need fireworks lighting the sky,
Just someone who’s honest and doesn’t tell lies.

So here’s to the madness the laughter and pain,
To those brave enough to go dating again,
You might find true love you might find a fool,
But never date anyone who brings his mum too.