The Colors of My Room II

I sat silently on the rocks by the river while soft waves turned pebbles and debris in and out,

washing over my toes and then fading away again.

Leaving behind only the residue of something that was once there.

I thought about how everyone had wanted to save me since I was young,

first my parents,

teachers in school,

the unyielding kindness of friends,

and then lovers who thought I needed to be fixed.

As if it were as easy as fixing the broken storm windows of my childhood room.

And while I appreciated their tired efforts,

it was I who ended up being the hero of this story.

Out of the darkest ashes,

I rose.

I won my life back from the grips of the reaper, who was always consciously looking over my shoulder.

The sun shines again in the field of flowers within my mind.

And it was only after the battle, that I truly met you.

A love that feels like home.

A love that brings me back to a memory of childhood,

watching the sunlight cast colors through the trees,

and then settling on me.

Inhale,

Exhale,

Breathing in tune with you

inside the colors of my room.