The Cockatoo and the Adoptee

I watch a video of a white bird

Whose owner left him on his perch

With a camera running

The bird has been screaming

For 7 ½ hours

Because he’s alone 

If he doesn’t have company

He’ll tear his feathers out

Or possibly die

It’s what those birds do

And the owner knew it.

As a child I felt the same

I don’t remember my birth mother leaving me

Not consciously

I was only 6 days old

But I remember many nights

Being put to bed

Lying alone

Staring out my open door

Mom would tuck me in

And say she’d check on me

When she went to bed at 10:30

I’d stare at the door

And wait to sleep

Wait for the goodnight kiss

That would make everything all right

It usually never came

So I’d stare and listen

Sometimes I’d call downstairs

To remind her of the time

I eventually stopped asking

And started resenting

Promises made for a simple thing

Never kept

Something important

Never granted

I watch the video of the bird

And I see my younger self

Staring at the door

(1/29/20-1/30/20)