The Blackest Soul

My hair is blonde and shiny

My teeth are pearly white

My eyes are blue like cobalt

But my soul is black as night

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I hide under the mask of beauty

For what you cannot see

Is pain pushed down for far too long

it nearly devours me

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If you think you have me sorted

If you think I have a lot

I would agree and hate myself

for not loving what I got

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You see shame can have so many faces and I have tried them all

I’ve eaten, drank, and smoked enough to know I had to fall

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I’ve had to fall so many times and pick myself up again

I never knew it was shame that caused the darkness to set in

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But what caused the change that made me see the forest through the trees?

It was COVID brain and discontent and a better life to seize

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Because despite all the bad that illness caused at least we all were shown

Just who we love and what we want is to never to feel alone

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But if you hate yourself, your soul is dark and never could be duller,

all the beauty, love, or company can’t bring you life in color.

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