The Bestest Thing

What is this? What's this I see?

A space ship coming straight at me!

A strange, tentacled alien

From extra-terra van emerges -

Is it foe? Or is it friend?

Dichotomous emotion surges

Back and forth within my bod.

Now I'm scared – is that a rod

Held suspiciously in hand?

-er, appendage.

Your speech, it is not gibberish

You say hello – how is this so?

How do you speak such nice English?

Oh, a mind-read ray! Clever lad!

(...word amendage.)

Well, welcome to our planet Earth!

Yes, our words tend to prosaic

Or florid praise. We have a dearth

Of details, other times, mosaic

Of descriptive nominatives.

Indeed, it's quite the place to live.

Why are you here? What would you do?

Visit a lovely place or two?

Touch the sights? Surf down a sunset?

Smell the lights? Wait, hold on – must it

Be just one thing or the other?

- Please, please, do not eat my brother,

We may need him later on.

It's called an alibi, my friend,

Like when you snitch the perignon,

He's blamed, he's punished – so, you ken?

Awesome! Let's away! Let's explore!

Oh, you've not been to Earth before?

Not much time? A short pit stop?

You'd like to see the best we've got?

Of what?

Of food, of dance, of drink, of song?

A windy road to drive upon?

A craft to make, soft thing to wear?

A breezy wind twirling your hair?

-er, ciliac tentacles?

A pet? Sky diving? Free the worms?

Acrobatic exercises?

Build a fire, taste s'mores, feel warmth?

Found neutronic enterprises?

-or sit here and eat pickles?

What, you must go right now, so soon?

I thought we had an afternoon!

Time's faster towards galactic core?

I hope I have not been a bore

To such a new and quirky friend!

It makes me sad to see the end

To such an interesting day!

I wish you would not go away,

Grumble, grouse, bah and humbug!

-Oh, would you like a goodbye hug?

It's a thing we Earthlings do,

When we're happy, when we're blue,

When we're lonely, need a snuggle,

There's nothing like a warm, sweet cuddle!

HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh! Oh! I was being dense!

What wonderful experience!

This is the best hug I've ever got!

You as well? Splendid! It's not

Like your day got wasted then!

Farewell my friend, and now and again

If you look up, and I look down

And our gazes meet across the crown

Of Andromeda's vast galaxy,

I'll miss you, friend, and you'll miss me.