the bathroom smells of despair
and recycled dinners
and my lips bleed from teeth that sink into all the wrong places
I keep winning then losing and sliding down a sick twisted slide of self destruction and rotting teeth
I breathe bile and regret in the air that was once sweet and guilt free
I choke on pasta and raw fear lodged in the cracks of my esophagus
burning like a punchline but the only joke is me
what have I become if not a slave
where I once was master
a beast that was once beauty and bones
and now eats dirt on cheap grounds instead of champagne
and I reek of putrid secrets that don’t hide well in the rolls on my stomach
and my shadows taint pretty streets
my footsteps drag on perfect lawns
I’m a pariah and even the moon has come to hate me
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