the art of getting by

i can’t lie it feels good when he touches me,

sometimes it’s even comforting

some sick part of me

is still wishing it were you

and when the sky turns a darker blue,

some weak part of me

still needs to cry over you

i wonder if it will ever go away

how many more moons will i still have to sit through

and keep that compulsion at bay

when will the world stop reminding me

i thought i could make you happy

if i’m being honest-

it was unfair of me-

to think you could make me happy

to use you in that way

i swear to god i never meant to

it wasn’t the time or place

but i went ahead of myself

happy to finally have gotten a taste

now look where the hedon in me has me landed

and you saw through all that

didn’t you?

i don’t blame you

i would’ve left me too

stranded

it’s what i deserve

that’s why i knew it would come

but god why did it have to take you so long

to work up the nerve

i told you when i stopped asking

that’s when it would become unfair of you to run

i can’t lie to you

so i guess it’s true

there’s no future for us in clear view

but if you were to ever come back to me

i’d have words for you untill my face turned blue

-g.m.t.