The Almond Milk Strikes Back!

1 2 3

It's me, Al Milk

4 5 6

On the fresh mix

7 8 9

Pass me the wine

10 20 30

My hands gon get dirty

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So let me get things perfectly straight

I want to make sure we have things clear

Before Mr Al Milk the Daddy gets irate

That Itali-Scot better live life in fear

I heard that dude's been talking smack

About my creamy goodness and consistency

I heard that dude's rhymes are so whack

How he prefers pus-cow-milk in his cuppa tea

My silence is over, here's my bar attack

I'm going to take you out without a hit fee

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The big shot, the mumbling mumbler

Wants to run his mouth, about my taste

The big shot, the mumbling mumbler

Better shut his awful trap in good haste

Sure, he's got skills, sure he's got rhymes

But he's as sour as a whole bag of limes

Paul - why you gotta be so damn butt-hurt

Paul - which barista got you so damn curt

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You know the girlies love me, the guys do too

You know you wanna have me, and wanna be on my crew

Stop trying so damn hard, you damn blow hard

You'll never be Ad-Rock, MCA or Mister Mike D

Once I'm done with you, your ass will be chard

Like steak overdone, that's the future, you see

Sipping Red Bull outta straw is what's next for you

You'll need a nurse and bedpan when you number 2

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So just stop oo-oo-ahhing like a stupid monkey

Go back to your lab and write some better bars

You'll never beat me, when it comes to non-dairy

There's none better, you can bet your silly arse

Nearly two-thirds of Americans with me will agree

Amanda Seyfried, Anna Hathaway and Arnie, all stars

We're laughing at your latest Got Milk? You see

The best you can do is Beiber, what a stupid farce

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You claim you're a rapper, I've heard much better

Even Machine-Gun Kelly or Vanilla Ice rhyme harder

So why don't you take your olive-skinned ass home

Cha-Cha-slide outta here before I smack your dome

Almond Milk will be here for ever and forever more

What you going to do when the cows are no more?

The way things are going, they will soon be extinct

Then you'll be banging for my nutty taste so distinct

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1 to the 2 and then to the 3

that's all from lil ole me

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Thanks for reading!

We have reached peak absurdity. As inspired by Dharrsheena, Naomi, and Donna, this was a mixtape exclusive by Mr. Al Milk in response to my Yucky Poem attack on Almond Milk as part of the Yucky Food Challenge. You can read that here:

Also, take a look at the piece that started it all:

You're welcome?

Take a look at the rest of my work here.