The Afterpoo Etiquette Song!

The Afterpoo Etiquette Song! (Don't just flush it; flush - brush - flush it!)

So you’re done on the loo and you wanna get away;

Back to Fortnite, or the latest JK.

But before you rush off - and before you log on;

You gotta make sure that all your poo is gone!

Yeah! Don’t just rush it! Flush-brush-flush it!

So pay heed to “Afterpoo Etiquette,”

And make super-sure that all its points are met:

You start with flush,

Then scrub the pan with your brush,

As the number two task -

Is to kill the skidmarks!

Yeah! Don’t just rush it! Flush-brush-flush it!

Now the bowl’s all clean,

There’s still two more things to do,

Before you annoy your baby brother,

Or take a trip to the zoo.

Yeah! Replace the brush kit! Still gotta double flush it!

So yank the handle, watch the brownness disappear-

Down into the sewers until the pan water’s clear.

Then there’s just one job to cop,

To round off a successful plop,

Yeah, you gotta be hygienic -

AND leave the bathroom scenic!

Run the hot water tap, wet your hands and add some soap;

Get a creamy lather going – give the poo germs no hope!

Yeah, I’ve done it – I’ve flushed-brushed-flushed it!

I’ve scrubbed away my shame,

Observed etiquette with graft,

Now I've earned myself a game,

So I think I’ll play Minecraft.

I hope you enjoyed this song - many more are coming this way including:

Earwax Grandad!

(I'm Going to the) Plop-Shop!

Farty Mom!

. . . and many more! Jamie.

You can follow me @JSHaHarding