Stuck

I am forgetting every moment

as soon as it happens

I am hearing the secret joke

behind every word I hear

I am seeing two universes

but standing in one

laughing feels more real

when I feel happy with you

everyone has a secret motive

surrounding every interaction

what if perfection is a punishment

that feeds into our doubts

it becomes a vicious circle

how did I get back here

I thought I was learning

but I am my mind's most stubborn, student

I want blissful nothingness

instead I am a beacon of chaos

I wouldn't have it any other way