still-.it.hurts

figure best -to write - - not e.dit - until - - the bitter conclusion...Indo.ing so I can unpack myfeel.ings,lay it all out on the sc.and decide fromtthere what to do

You...see. I generally have someplan when writ.ing about anyth.ing but not this time, I just wanted to let my thoughts take me

to get off my chest, all Ineed - freemyself, unburdenmyself of - guiltorselfish loath.ing -feel - I think of you

-figure my newfoundjoy in writ.ing - unfurl.ing the pains - s t r e s s e s - mymind will... help me deal with - all

thehaildidnotfallthemoulddidnotsmellthevanillatastedsweetthecompassstillworkedandthespiderwebslookedlikefancylacethedayshepassed

butyou were.far.too.gone.toknow----to care. If you. ever. did.

The resentment - - at times, can't be kept in a jarin bacofmymind, it can't be set.. aside for later

it bubbles to the surface and I want to scream...scream my pains, ...entitled

though, ...pains feel unwarranted and unjust, there are of course, others who have experienced worse than me

(drunkardlackoingrealaffectiondidn'tknowhow)still it hurts I had you to look up to, or not...asthecasemaybe, still it - - still I suffer

in small - seem.ingly in.-.significant ways, - see, because - trauma of - absentee is different from trauma of - abused

but.-.still-.i.t.hurts

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: Wanted this to have a very unpolished look with blackout elements and other things that upset how it reads. Also the clearout of the digital sofa continues!