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Another blackout poem. introspective.

By Paul StewartPublished about a month ago 1 min read
Photo by Paulina Milde-Jachowska on Unsplash

figure best -to write - - not e.dit - until - - the bitter conclusion...Indo.ing so I can unpack myfeel.ings,lay it all out on the sc.and decide fromtthere what to do

You...see. I generally have someplan when writ.ing about anyth.ing but not this time, I just wanted to let my thoughts take me

to get off my chest, all Ineed - freemyself, unburdenmyself of - guiltorselfish loath.ing -feel - I think of you

-figure my newfoundjoy in writ.ing - unfurl.ing the pains - s t r e s s e s - mymind will... help me deal with - all


butyou were.far.too.gone.toknow----to care. If you. ever. did.

The resentment - - at times, can't be kept in a jarin bacofmymind, it can't be set.. aside for later

it bubbles to the surface and I want to scream...scream my pains, ...entitled

though, ...pains feel unwarranted and unjust, there are of course, others who have experienced worse than me

(drunkardlackoingrealaffectiondidn'tknowhow)still it hurts I had you to look up to, or not...asthecasemaybe, still it - - still I suffer

in small - seem.ingly in.-.significant ways, - see, because - trauma of - absentee is different from trauma of - abused



Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: Wanted this to have a very unpolished look with blackout elements and other things that upset how it reads. Also the clearout of the digital sofa continues!

fact or fictionsurreal poetrysocial commentarysad poetryperformance poetryheartbreakFree VerseBlackoutart

About the Creator

Paul Stewart

Scottish-Italian poet/writer from Glasgow.

Overflowing in English language torture and word abuse.

"Every man has a sane spot somewhere" R.L Stevenson

The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection is now available!


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Comments (3)

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  • Alex H Mittelman about a month ago

    Well done. Intense!

  • John Coxabout a month ago

    Paul, this is as raw as a razor burn and ten times as painful. These hurts do not go away easily or quickly. I think your stream of conscious absence of editing and cramming long strings of words together multiplied the effect of loss, sorrow and rage. I almost felt your hurt as if it were my own.

  • Hannah Mooreabout a month ago

    It's interesting to read in this form. Got me thinking a bit. I wonder how capable I am of writing pure thought or whether the act of articulating formats the thoughts to some extent.

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