STILL AMONG US

THE CALL CAME IN SAYING SHE HAS TAKEN A TURN FOR THE WORSE

...but there was never an order for a funeral herse

...there was never viewing, nor repass nor clinical summary designating "cause of death", inherent illness or sudden occurence.

...there was no direct concern from the mortician, nor home health or the new physician in the new town she travelled to.

...there was no recollection the flowers ordered were placed... only distributed to relatives, the memorial plaque etched in steel handed away, the vase of ceramic colors spun to replicate life considered to have been worthwhile.

There was only the question of why I did not attend where the last word was that "weapons have increased to be drawn against you" at the house of my brother.

There was only remorse for the need to be "picked up" at a train station... in addition to others traveling from afar.

There was only my sigh at the end of a prayer to be forgiven for not attending in a generated aire of hatred from among those where we were all raised to the practise of decorum, discretion and prayerful deliverence of peace.

There was no stone placed at her head...

only the jar and burnt residue to be scattered in her favored spaces.

She walks free

as far as I can see and for the emotion I can feel

...free in the hummingbird garden.