Spinning

I do not want to talk to you.

And I know these words don’t matter either.

Irrelevant. Pointless.

Going in straight line circles.

Which is why you’ll never hear them.

You’re spinning around on the path in the same location. Holding my wrists, telling me no path exists because I can’t see it. But you are the one spinning me around, convoluting my vision…progress not even in the periphery.

….

I want to talk to you so badly though.

I want to feel safe, not stifled in thoughts I’m afraid to have.

If we cannot share words, we cannot know each other.

If you feel like my feelings - presented as vulnerability and fear - are an attack on you,

if you call it stupid to try and resolve, and we never stop spinning, all of these words will be trapped in my head and translate to something that is not love.

Don’t spin me to death.

Don’t hold me until I rot from the inside and lose the respect I have for you. Don’t make me pull away and freeze you out because you freeze my words.

How can I move on from something you’re refusing to let me leave?

Let me love you and let me show you how to love me…. or how to not hate me at least.

Please.