Spice Me Not... ๐ถ
Paul & Donna Yucky Food Challenge
Lawd, where do I start when it comes to discussing the bane of my existence: my Jalapeno foes๐ถ and their heartless shenanigans?
And for the love of God, please don't tell me that I need a little spice in my life!
No sir! No ma'am! I'd rather not have to amputate my tongue today or any other day thank you very much!
Jalapeno Foes๐ถ, have you ever thought that maybe just maybe you come on a bit too strong when I can still smell & taste your essence 4 hours after we depart from one another my G?
My Jalapeno-pains-in-the behind๐ถ, please answer a few simple questions for me :
1) Why do you exist?
2) Why do I feel like my tongue has been hijacked & branded anytime we interact?
3) Have you tried counseling for your searing tendencies?
As a matter of fact, let's forget the niceties!!!! Why don't you return back to your palatial estate smack dab in the middle of hell where you belong?
And don't even think about darkening my doorstep with your unappreciated antics ever again! I have my Big Momma's switch on hand for emergencies, as well as, the homies on deck for back up!!!!
Hut 1, 2, 3, 4! Now get to steppin! LOL ๐
About the Creator
Tiffany Gordon
I am a super-spiritual, fun-loving artist, writer, & peer-counselor residing in the Pacific Northwest. I am also an Institute of Children's Literature alumna who enjoys writing about the triumph of the human spirit.
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
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Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
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Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
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The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Writing reflected the title & theme
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I have been taking some time away from writing. I haven't forgotten about Vocal, the truth is I just have been too busy pursuing other things to write online and honestly, my little family and I just had a really hard month between the flu and a weird eye infection/cold circulating our house. I'm currently sipping some warm peppermint tea because my throat is sore.
By Chloe Rose Violet ๐น6 days ago in BookClub
Comments (51)
I like some spice but definitely with you on the jalapeรฑo s. Why for love of all holy do they put them in a salad? Great job and congratulations on Top story too โค๏ธ
Hello Sulivan how are you doing For you to transform your store further guidance or insight tailored specifically to your e-commerce business, I'd be more than happy to assist you.
love it.....
OMG, Tiffany. Congrats first on Top Story...you went full-on G on dem jalapenos! I disagree entirely with you but...I am so glad you took part in the madness that Donna and I created. This was a stone cold classic. So many lines to pick out - "No sir! No ma'am! I'd rather not have to amputate my tongue today or any other day thank you very much!" "Why do I feel like my tongue has been hijacked & branded anytime we interact?" "Have you tried counseling for your searing tendencies?" "And don't even think about darkening my doorstep with your unappreciated antics ever again! I have my Big Momma's switch on hand for emergencies, as well as, the homies on deck for back up!!!!" This was just sublime, Tiffany, thank you!
VERY WELL WRITTEN!. As an Indian i love spice and can definitely relate to this.
Congratulations on your Top Story
nice one
Yeah, I'm not a fan of chilli as a spice. It doesn't agree with me. I know it's popular, but their are other spices. Congratulations on top story.
I feel the exact opposite, yet, I love this new perspective! This was so funny and also, I can feel the pain you have experienced in the past. ๐ I once ate an habanero pepper accidentally and it ruined a whole 2 hours of my life; the worse pain ever. I like spicy food, just not whole peppers from hell.
Well, uh, pepper plants use capsaicin as a deterant for mammals, as our digestive systems destroy their seeds. Hence why their chemicals bind to the heat receptors on our tongues, making it feel hot. Birds don't have this problem. They provide the plants with proper fertilizer, and they also don't have the same heat receptors as mammals do on their tongues. So when a bird eats a spicy pepper they get to "taste the meat, not the heat." So, peppers are just trying to tell us, "No. No. No. No. No! Please, don't hurt my babies!"
Congratulations ๐๐พ
Wonderfully humorous tiffany. Why, let me tell you so far everybody's most hated foods or foods that I like. Except for Donna's marshmallows. I do not care for marshmallows at all. But spices or chili's such as jalapeno and cayenne pepper our favorites of mine. I love spicy, spicy foods yummy, yummy, yummy. Give me more, give me more. Congratulations on your top story!
oh no, I love peppers (the spicier, the better), but I also love your hilarious poem! "I can still smell & taste your essence 4 hours after we depart" LOL It's the "gift" that keeps on giving! Great stuff, Tiffany! I love it!
This is hilarious, and I wholeheartedly agree! Congrats on the top story, friend!
๐ ๐๐ Tiffany, Tiffany, Tiffany: This was a gift that kept on giving! I will not even try to count the hilarious moments here: there were so-o-o many. Congratulations on a well-deserved Top Story! ๐๐๐
I love it! This is great!
Amputation or hemorrhoid surgery? They burn twice! ๐คฃ Congrats. Hilarious! ๐
Outstandingโโโโ๐๐โจ๐Congratulations Big Sis๐๐โจTop Story๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Congratulations, Tiffany!
Love this! ๐ค Made me giggle. I love jalapeรฑos, but this is relatable ๐คโค๏ธ "I'd rather not have to amputate my tongue today or any other day thank you very much!" LOL ๐คฃ Congrats on Top Story!! ๐ค
Once upon a time, there was a gentle deer who lived in a forest. The deer was known for its kind heart and gentle nature. All the other animals in the forest loved the deer and would often come to the deer for advice. One day, a hunter came to the forest and started to hunt the animals. The deer knew that it had to do something to protect the other animals. So, the deer went to the hunter and asked him to stop hunting. The hunter was so moved by the deer's kindness that he stopped hunting and left the forest. From that day on, the deer became a hero to all the animals in the forest.
Yay! Congrats on the TS
๐ way too many hilarious lines in this one! I love Jalapeรฑos, but I could definitely relate to bits of this. Have you ever chopped up a jalapeรฑo and then scratch your eye? One of the only times I hate them. Lol! Great job and congrats on top story!!!
Yum yum! This looks so nice and a great read, Tiffany. Well done for getting top story, too! :)
Congratulations! Although I cannot believe you are dissing the Jalapeno. I love them. Ha ha! Well done.