Sooty

I live alone

In the shadowed breaths

Plaguing my head

And the whiskey stains

Rubbing sharp fingers

Across the soft parts

Still left in my soul.

.

There aren't many pieces

Still inside of me

That burn from the liquor

But those sooty fingerprints

Where Night itself

Used to touch me,

Those still ache.

.

The alcohol touches them,

Runs a reverent tongue

Over the raw skin

And makes me burn

With the knowledge

That this is going away too,

Just like you.

.

Like the tendrils of night

Shifting and turning to mist,

A fog settling in the dug graves

Of my soul.

Empty for now,

Waiting for when

It becomes too much.

.

And what?

And I throw you out

With the Monday morning

Trashcan full to the brim

With snotty tissues

And dreams

That clog up my lungs.

.

Don't worry.

I'll pick you out of the trash

Before the sanitation officer

Shows up anyway.

I can't expel the toxicity,

The agony of this feeling,

Because then it's gone.

.

I will do anything

To cling to this dream,

This vanishing space

Where what was could be,

Where what died in my arms

Still has its faint and pretty

Heartbeat.