Son

I'm sorry mother

I don't know how to be

The eldest son

Or

The eldest brother

Its hard going everyday

Carrying so many expectations

Knowing I fail at many

The weight is crushing

I feel my knees giving

My bones are crumbling

I feel so much shame

Because I don't have much strength

So I hide my face

Sometimes I wonder why

I have to be the one

To demonstrate

To be the one to end traumas

That I was raised off of

I have to watch the world around me lose its mind, while I'm expected to keep mine

And catch the tears of others while I i hold back mine.

I have to show my little brother how to be

I have to show my little sister who to love

I have to show my mom I'm not a failure

I have to be strong

I have to be calm

I have to be wise

I have to be dependable

I have to be successful

I have to keep living

They're all looking at me

But I am nothing