CotardDelusionz
Bio
I have Bpd, Ocd, Adhd, and MDD. Most of the things I write will be an expression of that in a desperate attempt to keep my sanity.
Stories (26/0)
A Wonderful World
Sitting on a chair in a dimly lit room, I feel sick. My body feels cold and nauseous, and the room feels suffocating and eerie. My drooping face feels heavy as I stare at this colorless world before me. I wonder if this place is haunted or if I'm the one haunting it. Is this how the world is, or is it just me who sees the world like this? -"Gouge out your eyes."- I drink more of the faucet water at the dining room table, but I still feel sick, like it just goes into an empty abyss. I don't realize it, but I've been staring at the glass for about 5 minutes now. I love letting my mind wander into meaningless things -"cut your stomach open"- I want my thoughts to become still like the water in the glass, and for a while, it works. I am blank, but eventually, I remove my eyes from the clear, still water and look at my hands to verify if I'm still here. -"Scar your face till you can't recognize yourself."- As I'm staring at my hand and rubbing my fingers together to keep myself present, I see a little spider in my peripheral vision - "Blow your brains out; make sure it's all gone"- I don't kill the little spider I find it mesmerizing it reminds me of the beauty and wonder in this world. "Not enough." I put my hand out in front of it and let it crawl onto my hand, and I wondered what its world was like. What a wonderful world, I can’t help but cherish all the life in it. I feel I have so much love to give. -"Cut your arms."- I love what I don’t understand. -"Tear your skin off, rip it off, rip it off."- I pretend they're not there. I pretend to be distracted. -"Punish yourself, it's not enough, it's never enough, not even death will satisfy"-
By CotardDelusionz2 months ago in Horror
