Somewhere

Somewhere I…

Don’t even know you exist.

Didn’t have to just survive.

Am still surviving.

Don’t exist just to be hurt.

Was much stronger at the start.

Stood up to your cutting words.

Told you to leave.

Let you stay.

Didn’t say yes.

Didn’t say no.

Left the first time.

Went back the second time.

Didn’t get a third chance.

Am a mother of four.

Am a mother of one.

Am a mother of none.

Am a mother two.

But which ones?

Am in the dumpster.

Didn’t catch me breath.

Felt the arrow.

Cut my wrists.

Am with someone else.

Am never afraid.

Am never worried.

Know what love is.

Felt the knife.

Used the knife on myself.

Used the knife on him.

Am not alone.