Soliloquy #6

Shall we delve into the complexities of love? 

Oh, love, a whirlwind of emotions and uncertainties that starts with oneself. Something that inexplicable drives us crazy, and we can't quite put our finger on it.

Picture this: you lock eyes with a girl, and you're at a loss for words. The last time you felt this captivated was watching gazelles on a nature channel. It takes some balls to admit you're under her spell, but hey, don't always trust your balls - they're just nuts.

Your brain plunged into imagining everything you could be with a girl you'd seen for less than a minute.

Your testosterone is high. Your brain goes into overdrive, imagining a future with a girl you've barely met. You find yourself acting as though you were never a loved child.

You are no longer in control of your legs as you find them gravitating towards her. The curse of attraction sets in.

Poorly, you managed to have her smile. You exchanged contacts with her.

Upon getting home, you couldn't but abandon the masculine urge to only text her the following day, or some weeks later.

You almost can't decide if you are driven by love or lust. Who is to say, love, at first sight, is a real thing? You delude yourself in the fact that you may have just fallen in love with a creature never knew. Maybe you're just infatuated with a mythical creature.

Days go by and you two have come to be closer. She understands you. The first person to ever understand what goes on in your head. She recognizes your mind as that which can make the most imaginative of things. She makes you feel whole.

You consider the many ways you might summon your inner clown to make her laugh more. These are all just futile attempts to make her whole day. And gradually, you may just end up making her whole week, and also her hole weak. Oh, the pervert that you are.

There is after all a saying that if she laughs at your jokes, she might soon moan to your strokes.

Your emotions - love, lust, desire, hatred, envy - are all expressed through your art. Music speaks to your soul, and you find yourself creating playlists for her. It's like finding the greenest thing since cash when you discover she shares your taste in music.

You saw that green flag wave in your face when you found she shares the same music taste as you. You can't help yourself.

Perhaps for the worst, your heart grows bigger by the day. But this is causing your rationality to grow slimmer. You've had a taste of love and you are addicted... Pathetic.

Months go by. Congratulations, she's just replied to a message you'd previously left on her phone which reads, "Hey, I've been thinking about this a lot, and I figured it was about time we made this official. Would you accept me as your boyfriend?".

Half of the day is gone. She is yet to reply, and you grow worried. You grow worried that you've just pushed her away by demanding that she let go of everyone better than you, look past your insufficiencies, and settle for you. Oh, your audacity to look upon the sky and wish for the brightest star.

Perhaps she's only taking long to reply because you've left her speechless. Either that, or the poor girl is scared of getting any closer to you. Perhaps I'm only being cynical, and she's simply busy.

Alas, she replies, "It has taken you this long. I never thought you'd ask. Yes! Yes, of course! I'd love to have you as my boyfriend!".

You knew not what to reply, except that you are reminded of the fact that you may yet not die alone. You have finally secured a partner. Good on you, lad.

But to love is to suffer, so you've come to realize. "To not love is to suffer. To be in love is to be a fool." You mutter to yourself, "But I've yet lived this long. I think it is about time I become someone's fool… I could be her fool. Sacrificing my sense of being all of her. She's one of a kind. I wouldn't ever settle for anyone else. I deserve -"

Your monologue was cut short by the jarring noise from your alarm.

It was all a dream. You remain single. You retain your freedom. You were saved by the bell.

So, was it a dream that could come true, or a nightmare you'd rather not repeat? Love remains a mystery, my friend, with twists and turns that can leave us questioning what's real and what's not.