Sofia meets World

Meditation. Contemplation. Implementation. These have been the keys to my recovery. To find Sofia, whoever she is, is a lifelong journey. I have visions of her: her smile, her laugh, the way she loves herself wholeheartedly. The way she dances, and shrieks and coos with glee. How she cares for others, even if she just met them. Her patience and tolerance in frustrating moments. Her warmth in a hug and softness of her voice. I can’t wait to look into her eyes one day, soon, and see the young woman my Daddio always knew.

However, something I’m never able to find when I have these visions of her are all the expectations others have of her. Until now, they’ve always been accounted for when I paint my mask on every morning, but lately I’ve felt suffocated underneath it. I can’t breath when others expectations, horrid and disgusting creatures, breathe down my neck like a vicious predator. I’m done taking the lashings from this Beast; bending over for others to approve of me while I sit there, like a good girl, and take it. I’m done not acknowledging and loving who I am; who Sofia really is.

Sofia is kind: her heart bleeds for others, even when they don’t deserve it. Sofia is compassionate: she loves and cares for her friends & family, and will stand up for those who can’t. She is wise: she learns through experiences and stories. She feels so deeply that at times I’m surprised by the things that make her cry. Sofia is so beautiful, and brave, and brilliant. Sofia was never everything everyone else wanted; She was always me, whoever I want and need to be.

I’m not the Nymph Goddess. I’m not a Venus. I’m not a Muse or a Model. I was never those things, those labels others slapped onto me to characterize me in their stories. I was, and always have been Sofia Loren Perez. The little girl with a big heart. The old soul with a young spirit. The biracial girl who lives at the brink of two worlds, just trying to keep her balance on the tightrope. The girl who would rather walk barefoot on beds of dewy moss and get lost while humming a tune to the frequency of the Universe.

Sexy, Wild & Free has always been my ultimate form of expression. To wield my sexual energy as both sword & shield. To be wild, virgin to Society’s impression. To be free from the limitations of others.

That is Sofia, and I can’t wait for the world to meet her because I love her so, so much.