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Snack Run

A Downer Frowner

By Andrew C McDonaldPublished 2 years ago • 1 min read
Snack Run
Photo by George Prentzas on Unsplash

Was on a downer so I took an upper

Ate so fast I choked on supper

Barfed it up and fed the dog

Now he’s licking his bits in a fog

Smoked some weed to settle down

That just turned my smile to a frown

Needed some Cheetos to feed the itch

They’re all gone thanks to the bitch

Swallowed a lude and snagged my key

Jumped behind the wheel of my Iroc-Z

Head to the store to grab some snacks

Fill the void of my life’s lacks

Double yellow line is now quadruple

Stick to the right, it ain’t crucial

Cool lights flashing in my rearview

Strobing round and round, red and blue

Mesmerized I watched them as I cruised along

Grooving to an old Jim Morrison song

His voice opening doors and lighting fires

In my fried mind, truly wired

Rounded a curve and found the store

Parked my Z through the door

Now I’m bleeding in the snack aisle

Trying to keep down the roiling bile

A nice officer walked up to me

Was he one or was he three?

He thought I’d like his cool metal bracelets

Then to hospital for some platelets

Asked the doc what was in the needle

He said shut up and don’t you wheedle

Then off on a ride in a neat squad car

No stopping for drinks at the bar

Now my fingertips are black, record on file

I’ll be on probation quite a while

Not a lot more to be said

Next downer I’ll just go to bed

humor

About the Creator

Andrew C McDonald

Andrew McDonald was a 911 dispatcher for 30 yrs with a B.S. in Math (1985). He served as an Army officer 1985 to 1992, honorably exiting a captain.

Never mind. I give up.

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    Written by Andrew C McDonald