Sleeping with the Enemy

Where earlier there was confession

There now lies a sleeping love

His eyelashes pressed against my arm

His breath heavy against my side

He is sorry and I

Am sorry

Let's get down to it then,

The messy business of being human:

The carefully peeling off of layers of clothing as if removing them from burned skin.

The lying down and sleeping next to

The betrayer

The betrayed

The crying over the broken pieces

The restless sleeplessness

The wondering and the questioning

And mourning and loving

The decision ultimately to stay through

The blinding stomach-sickness of it all

In hopes that tomorrow's light will bring

New, and much needed, clarity

And peace.

And it's in this moment you remember

Just how alone together can be

How far apart side-by-side always is

And yet life has a way of

Reminding you of the beauty you contain

The potential to throw it all away in

Pursuit of the perfect

You remember the you and yours and

Him and his and you see how you were

Still trying to hold it all in the center of your

Chest, trying to keep it to capture it to

Make it yours.

But it won't be, it can't. There will always

Be wild places in you that long for

Freedom

Wild confusion in him that draws him away.

You cannot fix his pain you cannot say

It enough times to make things different.

He did what he did,

And you said what you said and there is

Only now to lay down next to him anyway

And let the broken places mend themselves.