Single or Nah?!

I know I'm confusing the universe with my vivid thoughts of me & my future mate

Indulging in one of those exotic dates

But when the time is set for intentions, I just stare and stand in such a state

Like a patron of a local food shop, rocking back & forth studying the menu

Wondering if you should try, then I began to

Shuffle from right to left, oh is this the part where I just...

Ugh what is wrong with me?!

I've been alone for so long, lonely doesn't seem that lonely at all

My daydreams of being in a union, where all of our adventures

Becomes a vivid viewing

From the organic greet or kismet meet, through conversations & late

night elations

I guess I imagined my mate would be at a distance

Whenever I searched for closer there was some resistance

Wild thoughts of us getting to know one another, starting as friends then becoming lovers

Eager anticipation of our next physical meet

My mind conjured up some amazing feats

But when it's time to turn those visions into reality

My mind forms this duality of yes and no-

You know you want this and I don't think I'm ready to go

All the scenarios of the union goes up in flames

Then I start kicking myself for being this lame

It's no wonder my person haven't shown up

I do this dance & now I'm stuck, wanting, dreaming,

Even believing of needing this spiritual connection that's ethereal

But all of my self-sabotage & self doubt becomes serial

Now I'm questioning wanting this relation

All of the back & forth becomes an abomination

I've been single for so long, it's become my new norm

I guess it'll be this way until the universe shakes some sense into me

And propels me into my destiny