SHORT-TEMPERED

heart starts to race

breathing too heavily

the world gets bleary

my eyes turn red.

i can hear your insults

spinning round in my head.

you jab and you jaunt,

because you know that's how i am;

you know that i can't control my anger

so you swear when you can.

you circle around me

and joke and curse,

expecting me at any moment

to explode in a burst

and tear you to pieces with my short-tempered words;

figurative blood goes flying

because you know it hurts.

i can't just stand there and take it

for all my people

when you yell and you scream

from your "high steeple."

you hate me because

of what i believe in

(and the devil knows

that i'm quick to anger)

you hate me because

"oh, because it's just fun!"

i sit and i try to sit perfectly still.

hopefully it doesn't reveal that i will,

when i finally have some time to myself,

throw a couple things off of my shelf

and watch them shatter on the floor

instead of slamming a face in the door.

breathe in, breathe out--

you have to control yourself, y'know?

it's not that easy.

if you say so...

just calm down,

go drink some water,

go outside and watch the birds flutter

your words are not the world to me.

just cuz you hate me doesn't mean

i have to fight back against your shizzle

even if it is, really, just shizzle.

don't try to get me riled up anymore

i'm just gonna walk out the door.

don't ask for a fight, when you call yourself "Christian"

cuz if you're lucky enough,

you're not gonna get one.

***

phew. writing this poem prevented me from arguing unnecessarily with a certain politically-sided person who was cursing out other Christians repetitively.

i rather like free-verse!

and no, i've never gotten into a real fight before, i've only fought mentally. as if that counts.