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She Used to Make Me Tea

Quadru-haiku

By Rayn BPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 1 min read
Top Story - January 2023

Flame and filled kettle

Mingle on the stove until

Air escapes the spout.

//

Liquid meets black leaves,

A dance of water and earth

In a mug ballroom.

//

Cream and sugar join…

She would make it extra sweet

Just the way I loved.

//

My brew tastes bitter

Since she left, and I cannot

Ask her ashes why.

nature poetrysad poetrylove poemsheartbreak

About the Creator

Rayn B

I have been writing poetry and lyrics since I was a child. I have recently started writing short scripts for “found footage” horror TikToks. I dream of writing books and full length screenplays. Thanks for being in this community with me!

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Reader insights

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Top insights

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (29)

  • Rachel Deeming7 months ago

    "A dance of water and earth/ In a mug ballroom" is such a great line! such energy to it. Wish I'd wrote that! And the contrast with the fact that it is a mournful poem makes it very powerful.

  • Linda Marryabout a year ago

    Now I want tea ;)

  • Allie Bickertonabout a year ago

    Your poem brought me back to my table.. my table that used to be hers, where we shared tea and chocolate cake together. I imagine that she’s still with us, working in some cafe in Paris, but to me she’s gone. I’m afraid we’ve lost touch. Funny enough, she loves to write poems and encouraged me to join the scribophile community. I only did because of her, and now I feel like the whole purpose of me being here on Vocal, is to get close to her…even if it’s from afar and she doesn’t know it.

  • Rachel Roseabout a year ago

    I like the transition from fantasy to stark reality.

  • Great Haiku, beautiful. Happy to subscribe to your work.

  • Feyre St. Clairabout a year ago

    Wow. This is amazing 🙌🏻

  • PK Colleran about a year ago

    Beautiful. The last line struck a deep chord.... Thank you.

  • Janice Dailyabout a year ago

    Wow! This is such a powerful poem that effectively uses imagery, metaphor, and simple language to convey emotions. It is a poignant reminder of the power of loss and grief.

  • Goran Vinchi2 years ago

    Great

  • JAYESH KUKREJA2 years ago

    very nice

  • Kim Sole2 years ago

    Very Nices

  • very nice lines

  • Oh my god, this is heartbreakingly beautiful. Thank you!

  • Mark Graham2 years ago

    For me this brings memories of my mom and how she made hot tea for me.

  • Marilyn Glover2 years ago

    Beautiful work! 🥰

  • Holy cow, this is so beautiful. Just sweeps us along in the lyric narrative.

  • sleepy drafts2 years ago

    This is absolutely beautiful. <3

  • All your tags for this poem are spot on.

  • Fiona Howell2 years ago

    Ooh, loved the ending!

  • Mary2 years ago

    The last line hits right in the feels.

  • Meg2 years ago

    Such a beautiful piece! Love the flow

  • Cathy holmes2 years ago

    omg. That last line hits hard. This is beautiful piece. Congrats on the top story.

  • Test2 years ago

    This is so poignant and beautiful, Rayn.

  • C. H. Richard2 years ago

    Beautiful and heartfelt❤️ Also, made me yearn for a cup of tea to feel like home. Hearted and subscribed. Congratulations on your top story.

Rayn BWritten by Rayn B

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