Flame and filled kettle
Mingle on the stove until
Air escapes the spout.
//
Liquid meets black leaves,
A dance of water and earth
In a mug ballroom.
//
Cream and sugar join…
She would make it extra sweet
Just the way I loved.
//
My brew tastes bitter
Since she left, and I cannot
Ask her ashes why.
About the Creator
Rayn B
I have been writing poetry and lyrics since I was a child. I have recently started writing short scripts for “found footage” horror TikToks. I dream of writing books and full length screenplays. Thanks for being in this community with me!
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
TICK TOCK
11.59. Even though the glass had shattered, Lorna could still see that her watch ticked over. One minute until midnight. Her watch was the only thing she had that she could carry. The only thing to remember her parents by. A birthday present from last year, the year she turned seventeen.
By Elizabeth Butler4 days ago in Fiction
Comments (29)
"A dance of water and earth/ In a mug ballroom" is such a great line! such energy to it. Wish I'd wrote that! And the contrast with the fact that it is a mournful poem makes it very powerful.
Now I want tea ;)
Your poem brought me back to my table.. my table that used to be hers, where we shared tea and chocolate cake together. I imagine that she’s still with us, working in some cafe in Paris, but to me she’s gone. I’m afraid we’ve lost touch. Funny enough, she loves to write poems and encouraged me to join the scribophile community. I only did because of her, and now I feel like the whole purpose of me being here on Vocal, is to get close to her…even if it’s from afar and she doesn’t know it.
I like the transition from fantasy to stark reality.
Great Haiku, beautiful. Happy to subscribe to your work.
Wow. This is amazing 🙌🏻
Beautiful. The last line struck a deep chord.... Thank you.
Wow! This is such a powerful poem that effectively uses imagery, metaphor, and simple language to convey emotions. It is a poignant reminder of the power of loss and grief.
lovely
Great
very nice
Very Nices
very nice lines
Oh my god, this is heartbreakingly beautiful. Thank you!
For me this brings memories of my mom and how she made hot tea for me.
Beautiful work! 🥰
Holy cow, this is so beautiful. Just sweeps us along in the lyric narrative.
This is absolutely beautiful. <3
All your tags for this poem are spot on.
Ooh, loved the ending!
The last line hits right in the feels.
Such a beautiful piece! Love the flow
omg. That last line hits hard. This is beautiful piece. Congrats on the top story.
This is so poignant and beautiful, Rayn.
Beautiful and heartfelt❤️ Also, made me yearn for a cup of tea to feel like home. Hearted and subscribed. Congratulations on your top story.