Shades of sanity

Some days are tinged by perfectly pure rose coloured glasses

My porcelain lids flit open, drawing in the golden sunlight, embracing its warmth

My skin is soft, my eyes bright, alive, feisty

On these days, the world is alive with colour, every smell, every scent, is so beautiful it hurts

So beautiful I cry

If I had to describe my happiness, it would be shades of yellow, melting to orange, red, blue

So bright it’s almost aggressive, as it burns through my brain, destroying any semblance of the day before when I avidly proclaimed that I could no longer go on

Those perfectly pure rose coloured glasses colour it all, but they are delicate, ornate, easy to break

Some days are tinged by cracked cloudy grey goggles

Like my head has been plunged into murky ice cold water

Making it impossible for me to think

My waxy lids drag themselves open, wincing at the sunlight, cowering away from its blinding light

My skin is scratchy, my eyes dull, dead, afraid

On these days, the world is so drained of colour, every smell, every scent, is so painful it hurts

So painful I cry

If I had to describe my sadness, it would be shades of black

So deep it almost devours me, burning through my brain, destroying any semblance of the day before when I stupidly proclaimed that I had forgotten how it ever felt to not be happy