Shades of Ash and Expectations

Perched on a chair I wonder if

The crayons in the box can come to life

And dance to fill the lines

Could Robin’s Egg

And Morning Maize

Foxtrot across my coloring book

Or even pirouette amphibians in shades

That no blank page has ever seen

Perhaps an Irish jig or walking man

As Dad flips through a Datamation magazine

More crayons come alive

Like Jade and

Glowing Grape and

Pink Champagne

All tiptoeing around my father in his tie

And navy suit

So gingerly they climb upon his shoulders

Where they all take turns creating masterpieces

Daubing on the canvas of the

Starched white shirts he wears

Even on Saturdays

The chalkboard in my room grows cloudy as

I scribble

And erase

A thousand sketches

Seafoam bubbling where I scuba dive

Beneath a boat with sails that sparkle

In the sun

Discovering a species

Or a library that cannot hold

The books I write

Or rainbow lights that welcome

Weary travelers to a

Feast that fills the soul

Condemning voices echo in the silence

As each sketch I draw and love

Returns to dust that

Fills the trough

Beneath the board

Each particle a victim of a

Gray eraser and black lines

To live within

I draw a picture

Shades of ash and

Expectations

Of a chasm

And a hand

That’s turning out the light

The interviewer says

Dark suits

White shirts

And ties

Are mandatory if I want to get the job

Whatever sir

I know that this career will be a fit for me

He passes forms in triplicate

White, Yellow, and Pale Pink

Black pen

And print it please

Sign here

Sit there

And welcome to the team

The days grow foggy gray

Obscuring the horizon

Or the sky

Is that the sky

Or is it a black hole that swallows

Every dream’s illumination into night

More days behind than on the way

I wear a shirt striped with

Magenta and

Chartreuse and

Pirouette to songs forgotten

Through a lifetime worrying if

Someone thinks that white still works

Just fine