Self-Editing

A pen in hand and a new page leaves every option, but also none at all.

The ever-growing ideas list is for the writer I can't be today, the one with motivation, energy, a clean tea kettle.

Her shit is together, the version of me who can do them justice.

I want not to be a shell with a blank-slate mind,

to reflect the opposite, a right hand capable of more than

The the the the the the the

hoping for words that never come after

though I was once promised it would come, that brains don't like an unfinished sentence;

it has to go somewhere.

Eventually, we fill in the blanks,

but is it good? Is it bad?

Or am I self-editing before I ever actually start to write again?