Self-Destructing Me

I was already rejected once, why am I giving myself up for rejection again? Am I that easy? Or am I not playing the game right? How is it supposed to be played?

I guess I didn't read the manual of love, rather I jumped straight into it.

Observed as an idiot, described as the brave one.

But little did they know I just wanted to love.

To love whilst neglecting the rules.

To love without fear, to love day and night.

But I am unloved by my loved ones.

Why is it never me? My insecurities begin their coup. Save me. This may never end. My body starts to weaken as I slowly deconstruct myself.

Love. Why must it be like this.

No. Why am I like this?