Seeking Clarity

I still find myself lost back in time.

Helpless to stop the perpetual rewind.

Always searching for some clarity.

Hoping some new answers will appear to me.

I'm stuck in this loop, deep inside my mind.

Is it really possible that I'll heal with time?

.

So many questions you've dodged

Mistruths conveniently sprinkled all about.

Dug down so deep beneath your charade.

I was so overwhelmed and distraught.

All you could do was scream and shout

While I swayed upon my feet,

Horror struck by what I'd revealed behind your deceptive shade.

.

Those manipulations temporarily cloaked all that you are.

Now I've ripped off the Band-Aid,

Knowing that this will surely scar.

For a wound so severe that it nearly takes your life?

Well, it's not one that will heal with medication and sleep.

No, not in this instance.

You've cut me far too deep.

.

I'm bracing for the impact

After revealing your true colors.

Reeling from the reality of what you are

Versus who I'd believed you to be.

Talk about a mind-blowing discrepancy.

.

Might as well have cemented my feet to your anchor

Since you insist on keeping me down.

Left me lying there, watching as I drown.

Without any thought for any other

You could not care less if our children were torn from their mother.

.

Yet when the mood strikes you,

You're the one that will smother.

You'd hardly let me breathe.

Not out of love or genuine devotion.

Only to prevent me from ever finding another

That's why you still kept me dangling there upon your toxic tether.

. . .

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Photo Credit: Victoria Model

This poem was originally published on Medium: