Second Chances

I used to always think

Why doesn’t the world change when I blink?

To overthink, or maybe sink, deep down I knew what it was like

To be chained by other minds, but in your mind it may seem right

Behind closed doors I would fight

Myself, and ask the why and when

The disclosure of how I could put this thought process to an end….

That was back then

Sooner or later I had to make amends

Sooner or later I had to get better friends, sooner or later, who knows where I could’ve been

My passion didn’t exist but now I am able to exhibit this

Show people from all around the pain and torture you get when you live like this…

Don’t hold back on a strong mind

Don’t sit around and waste your time

That’s something I wish I told past me

And I know the future me is look right at me

But I know he looks past me

Seeing how my life could’ve been different

From the death of an apparent role model, to the ever need of a father, I felt sorrow, these were the feelings that were not borrowed but kept under

Tucked within a sleeve under my skin, to take cover

My passion deprives from me, and not from any another

I use to want to let go, things I couldn’t tell my own mother

She was all I had, but I can’t forget a few others

But when it’s a constant war going on in your mind

When you can hear your own clock ticking, not even knowing the time

To go out and still manage, and no these were not feeble lies

They created me, and sometimes I would have to improvise

A broad smile, but tears get held back behind

There was a point in my life where I took that knife, granted I knew that price

Too big to pay, but I was tired of my life

A sharp edge of pain, the only thing that felt right

Stomach felt empty, an empty soul, I felt light

Cried and cried, blurry vision, tears in my eyes

Then I looked at myself in the mirror, and all I could do was sigh…

My passion comes from me

My passion comes from thatfatal day I took my life and realized that this was the end

Then born again, purpose filled my heart

Now I knew why I was put in this world from the start

To grab a pen a paper, write down what’s inside

A way to talk to myself, a way for me not to ever hide

The love I have for life now, this love is solidified

I took for granted, so many things, but now I know why

I look at my past self just one more time

A boy who knew the world but not himself from inside

I learned self love is key and you can’t tell anyone different

I learned that life is love and that, that should be the life mission

To spread like jelly, the taste is so sweet

I hope to build up not only my passion but those who decide to follow me

Cause a leader knows how to lead, but how do you think they got their own degree

To fulfill a life’s dream, my passion is to be

Remembered for not what I do, not the writing, not the poems, not even for taking care of my family

But to be remembered for who I was, for who I really turned out to be…

I think about the past a lot to this day

I cry about it too

To ever think that if I would’ve done what I done, then these days now would have never come true

It’s something I don’t regret, but I thank myself

It built someone great, someone who now, isn’t afraid to ask for help

A smile that isn’t false but deemed true to what my life came to be

Grateful for everything, but to always remember that my passion was always me