Scarborough

Saturday morning vibes.

Teapot on, check.

Yogurt, check.

Music, check.

Plans, nope.

Got nothing to do today. Damn it feels good after this rough week.

I’m sitting at my desk looking out my window, and yes that damn trash bag.

I tried to get it the other night.

Yes!

I tried my hardest to get it out of the tree. Everyone was worried about me.

I was worried about the tree and the environment. It seems silly I know.

But that’s me. The perfectionist.

Tea’s ready.

Lipton hot tea, with just a splash of milk.

I hope one day I find someone who makes me the perfect cup.

I thought I found it. With you, big house, dog. Art space and garage for you.

We’d set a table for two. Just me and you, Malcolm in his spot.

We trained him well. He was such a good dog. I can’t think about him without crying.

I couldn’t and wouldn't feel right about getting another animal.

Knowing he was adopted was reassuring but makes me cry. I couldn’t care for him.

Not alone.

Physically I can’t. I think I could do it here, but a dog in this small place. I couldn’t do it to him.

He was so much a part of me. You, giving me full custody of him. That was hard but I needed him mentally and physically. I appreciated that. I know you couldn’t with your schedule.

Now we can’t even talk. I have so much I need to tell you. So much you’ve missed.

I needed and need to have closure with you.

You're always on go, I can’t see or talk to you. But I wish you best of luck.

Don't worry, keep my stuff.

I’ll be leaving soon, after Summer and fall here in Maine. I have to go South for the cold.

My body needs to be warm.

The cold hurts

And I hurt. I hurt for the fun memories, and fun times we shared.

-ej