Rock Bottom

Few people hit rock bottom, but once you do everything changes.

The whole way you look at life,

Your very existence is in question.

I could have slit my wrists in the bathtub or jumped off that cliff,

But it’s nothing shocking

It’s nothing others before me haven’t already done.

Suicide is just a statistic.

It’s giving up and letting your problems kill you.

Letting your issues consume you.

I’m a survivor

And I know if I can come back from the point that I’m at now that I will be a stronger person.

You can only rely on yourself

And there are few people that are true friends in this lifetime.

Once you find one, never let go.

Until death do you part.

I used to think love was about forgiveness,

But now I see it’s about moving on and sacrificing your dignity.

Each time I lost a piece of myself,

And this last time I gave it all I had

And now I have nothing left.

There is nothing left for anyone

I’m broken.

Discarded.

Left here to wallow and crawl in my own insecurities.

Left to die alone without a soul to even care.

I can forgive.

But I can’t forget.

The walls come crashing down on me.

The ruins of past relationships ended over silly things.

People throw perfectly good relationships to the wolves

Because they don’t want to compromise.

I’m not a saint,

But I see the light.

If only he could see, what I do.

If only he could come inside this place I hide myself

And see all the faces on the wall.

See that they all belong to him,

And that he holds my heart in a mason jar

And all that I want is to have it back.

Ice water pumps through my veils where the blood used to be.

A vampire sucked it all out and this is all I have left.

My life is a horror movie,

And I am a zombie.

He mesmerizes me with those hazel eyes

And then he strips me of my very being.

“Take everything” I say.

And he still doubts how much I love him,

And how much I am willing to sacrifice.

I am willing to give it all to be happy.

To be fulfilled.

To be one with him,

A part of him forever.

Time is running out,

And I can’t live in this misery anymore.

Either make me happy or set me free.

I ripe his heart out with my ice cold hands.

Blood drips from my fingers.

No misery is worth him.

No loneliness even when we are in the same room.

Your heart is now mine.

This poem is featured in the poetry collection Passing Skeletons.

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