Right Person, Wrong Time

He was perfect.

The way his eyes crinkled when he would smile at the sight of me melted my soul into a puddle at the bottom of my feet.

He was perfect.

I adored the way he would hold me in his arms and tell me how much he loved me even when we just had a huge fight.

He was perfect.

He did everything right and not one thing about him was out of place. Every standard I had ever set for myself was projected into a single man that held my hand and kissed my forehead.

He saw fragments of myself that I never shared with the world. He knew me better than I knew myself in some instances.

In a matter of moments, he became my best friend. Falling in love with him was the easiest thing I have ever done. I realized that I loved him laughing at one of his stupid jokes over the phone at two a.m. Time seemed to have stopped when it settled deep inside of me that I had found everything I was searching for. The heartbreaks before him seemed worth it.

But the timing was off.

As we got thrown back into the swing of school and the summer love began to fade, we realized how hard it was being together while being full-time college students working towards a future we never planned together. We had our lives figured out and we realized that we just didn’t fit into each other's “big picture”.

We tried and we fought at it day after day but the nights where I wouldn’t hear from him hurt more than having an argument. Because at least he would talk to me when we were fighting. At least he would acknowledge my existence if I pissed him off.

And one day it just hit us.

We weren’t ready. We couldn’t handle it. We hit our breaking point that led to constant yelling matches and nights where I would cry and cry and cry.

I miss him.

I missed him before he was gone. I noticed the passion fading from his eyes, his tone changing in an instant from loving to bore. And in the blink of an eye, he was gone. I lost him and I tried so hard to keep him that I began losing pieces of myself. I relapsed into something I’m not proud of.

I love him and I can’t imagine the day I won’t.

He is perfect. He is so perfect and I wish he were mine again.