Rest Well

I miss you. I miss you

Because even if you didn't

Understand me, you always

Tried to. I miss you. I miss

You because even if my

Dreams and goals seemed

Silly, you never put me down.

I miss you. I miss you being

Supportive and giving me a

Place to escape. To vent.

I miss you. I miss being

Woken up with a cup of tea

And tennis on the TV. I miss

You. I miss your words and

Your mannerisms. I miss you.

I miss how my heart didn't ache

At the mere memory of

grabbing Pizza with you. I

miss you. I miss when I could

Walk in the store, see your

Favourite tea and not want to

Drown myself in it to stop

My heart from ripping apart.

I miss you. I miss listening to

Your concerns about doctor's

Because even though the topic

Was morbid, I would give

Anything to hear your voice

Again. I miss you. I miss

Your quiet house and your

Respect for my decisions.

I miss you. But more than that.

I realize I'm not doing this

Right. I'm not grieving right.

Is there a right way? I miss you

So much my throat swells up

And my heart is breaking on

A daily basis and I am drowning

In my own grief. I miss you.

I miss hearing you say "I'm just

Peachy." When I ask how

you are. I miss you. I miss

You so much the words have taken months to form and

Make some semblance of

Sense even if I can't speak

Them yet. I miss you. I miss

The late nights of talking about

Family while we drink tea.

I miss the glances when

Someone says something

Condescending to you or me.

I miss your advice. And

I am regretful. Regretful that

My last goodbye to you was

Over the phone. While you

Were coughing so much you

Couldn't speak anymore.

I'm regretful that my goodbye

To you was passed on by

My aunt. And I could hear

The concern in her voice

As she told me you were

Done talking. I'm regretful

That the day I was supposed

To come and have dinner...

Would never happen. I miss

you. But more than that...

My grief is never ending.