Requiem for a Soul

I ain't ready to fall behind the bars

I didn't commit a crime

I am not a criminal

Though I killed someone

And that someone was me.

In my soul's darkest hours

I grapple with the shadows of my past

They haunt me with the memories that I once created

Making me wonder if redemption will ever last.

How could you tick all the boxes right

Just by matching the attire?

Maybe our souls were different

Maybe he was born from my ashes.

I reincarnated into a monster,

A creature of darkness and despair,

With every step I took,

Every breath I drew,

I was weighed down by my choices and despair.

Darkness enticed me

On how peace can be craved

And then also quenched from the blade of the knife,

But when I tried to peep deeper

To look for answers

All I discovered were forgotten echoes from my past.

How can you blame hope for being a sinner?

When it was always the fuel.

It was you who extinguished its flame,

Bit by bit,

With doubts and fear

Until it flickered and then turned to grey.

Holding that flickering flame,

I often ran into the wilderness

Chasing shadows in the night

Only to find darkness covering my eyes.

I stumbled upon some regrets and pain,

I barely care

Until my skin bled and

Scars made my bones sing an elegy to the air,

My silent soul screamed into that infinity,

As pain tore apart my sweet flesh.

Shadows, I could feel them all around,

Something pulling me into my past

I could hear the chants

Of sins being recited back into my ears

As they grew louder

My shattered soul

Coiled and spun in darkness around.

I was the spider who spun,

A mirage

Of doubt and despair

And then entangled myself within it

As if I were always the prey my soul desired.

I felt my strength slipping off my fingers

As I tried to hold courage tightly

Within my fist.

In my own creation,

I have now succumbed,

To shadows I once chased.

As I watch them encircle me

Their eyes gleam with joy

As they revel in my descent into sin.

Something or

Some part of me died that night,

Blazes sore high into the night sky

Flames and ashes hugged tighter

And something rose from that pyre.

A monster reincarnated

With blood spilled all over its body

And with a smirk that lasted.

When all I could sense was

In the wake of dusk,

A murderer's shadow looming again,

To haunt another soul

To feast upon another denial.