Replace Me

Replace me. Please.

I bring you only darkness

A sickness in my soul

That drags you to misery

And I haven’t made you laugh in years

I tether you to my crumbling sanity

A storm of anxious confusion and fear

And I keep tying the strings tighter

With a determination that ruins lives

Yours, our children's, mine.

I want to find a new woman

One that is better for you

A woman who is not broken like me

I want to integrate her into the family

Make sure she makes you laugh

And is a match to your intellect

When she falls in love with our children

I know she will do it better than me

As she becomes more important to you

I can be here less and less

Slowly detangle my strings from you

And merge inch by inch into the shadows

To leave this life as darkness swallows me whole

The new woman would be what I am not

Motivated and beautiful

She folds laundry the way you like

And does the dishes before you ask

She works with good humor and love

This woman would hear what you say

She wouldn’t tune you out

Or forget that you were talking

She wouldn't favor her virtual world

Over the one she shares with you

I have nothing of consequence to give

I gave Life and Life again, our only joys

My love not enough and my person empty

She will have what I have lost for you

You are stone and mortar

I am the hurricane that wears you thin

I’m stuck inside dark caverns of twisted thoughts

Unable to calm my storms to aid your needs

She could do that, will do that

You need the other woman

Replace me. Please.