Refraction

Staring at a river

Watching my memories go by

So many where I cried

Not many where I felt alive

They're all blurry

So dreamlike

I try to catch one I like

But when I dip my fingers into the cold river

Quickly it slips right through

There's nothing I can do

I stare helplessly

As it flows farther from me

Eventually into a sea

Where it will sink

Drifting into infinity

As I stare at the river

The memories become less and less

They become almost transparent

They're fading

Like placing a paper in water

They're disintegrating

Im squinting just to see

Eventually there's only one memory

Slowly flowing by

Its my lifeless body

In a pool of my own blood that's draining from me

There's blood leaking from the memory

Its pouring into the river and spreading

It leaves a trail of blood as it goes by

Then there's nothing

What does it mean